All posts by Ahmed

Taraweeh Summary

Insha’Allah, the summary for the portion of Qur’an recited in Taraweeh Salaah each night will be posted up here.

100 Pre Marital Questions

  1. What is your concept of marriage?
  2. Have you been married before?
  3. Are you married now?
  4. What are you expectations of marriage?
  5. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
  6. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
  7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
  8. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
  9. What is the role of religion in your life now?
  10. Are you a spiritual person?
  11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
  12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
  13. What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
  14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
  15. What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
  16. What is the role of the husband?
  17. What is the role of the wife?
  18. Do you want to practice polygamy?
  19. What is your relationship with your family?
  20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
  21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
  22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
  23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
  24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
  25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
  26. How did you get to know them?
  27. Why are they your friends?
  28. What do you like most about them?
  29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
  30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
  31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
  32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
  33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
  34. What are the things that you do in your free time?
  35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
  36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
  37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
  38. Do you travel?
  39. How do you spend your vacations?
  40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
  41. Do you read?
  42. What do you read?
  43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
  44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
  45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
  46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
  47. Do you like to write your feelings?
  48. If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
  49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
  50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
  51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
  52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
  53. Do your friends use foul language?
  54. Does your family use foul language?
  55. How do you express anger?
  56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
  57. What do you do when you are angry?
  58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
  59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
  60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
  61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
  62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
  63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
  64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
  65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
  66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?
  67. What is you definition of wealth?
  68. How do you spend money?
  69. How do you save money?
  70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
  71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
  72. Do you use credit cards?
  73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
  74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
  75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
  76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?
  77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
  78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
  79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
  80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
  81. Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
  82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
  83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
  84. Do you believe in abortion?
  85. Do you have children now?
  86. What is your relationship with your children now?
  87. What is your relationship with their other parent?
  88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
  89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?
  90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
  91. How were you raised?
  92. How were you disciplined?
  93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
  94. Do you believe in public school for your children?
  95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
  96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
  97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
  98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
  99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
  100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?

Daddy – Can I have $10?

A man came home from work late, tired and irritated, to find his 5 year old son waiting for him at the door.

“Daddy, may I ask you a question?”

“Yeah, sure, what is it?” replied the man.

“Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?”

“That’s none of your business! What makes you ask such a thing?” the man said angrily.

“I just want to know. Please tell me, how much do you make an hour?” pleaded the little boy.

“If you must know, I make $20.00 an hour.”

“Oh, ” the little boy replied, head bowed. Looking up, he said, “Daddy, may I borrow $10.00 please?”

The father was furious. “If the only reason you want to know how much money I make is just so you can borrow some to buy a silly toy or some other nonsense, then you march yourself straight to your room and go to bed. Think about why you’re being so selfish. I work long, hard hours everyday and don’t have time for such childish games.”

The little boy quietly went to his room and shut the door. The man sat down and started to get even madder about the little boy’s questioning. How dare he ask such questions only to get some money. After an hour or so , the man had calmed down, and started to think he may have been a little hard on his son. May be there was something he really needed to buy with that $10.00 and he really didn’t ask for money very often. The man went to the door of the little boy’s room and opened the door. “Are you asleep son?” he asked.

“No daddy, I’m awake,” replied the boy.

“I’ve been thinking, maybe I was too hard on you earlier,” said the man. “It’s been a long day and I took my aggravation out on you. Here’s that $10.00 you asked for.”

The little boy sat straight up, beaming. “Oh, thank you daddy!” he yelled. Then, reaching under his pillow, he pulled out some more crumpled up bills. The man, seeing that the boy already had money, started to get angry again. The little boy slowly counted out his money, then looked up at the man.

“Why did you want more money if you already had some?” the father grumbled.

“Because I didn’t have enough, but now I do,” the little boy replied.

“Daddy, I have $20.00 now… Can I buy an hour of your time?”

Pre-Marital Relations

May Allah bless Shaykh who has with his advices saved many young men and women from committing fornication before marriage, by pointing out the whole truth in such a manner that the youth of today find it palatable and adhere to his advices. Once Shaykh very candidly called out to the youth of the community:

“When young men and women date with each other (before marriage), they think that by doing this I am going to get to know the person well and then I can then decide whether we will be compatible or not. Remember that this is a deceit. When a young man and young woman go out together they usually only show a front and their best side, and most faults are concealed. Therefore after a ‘love marriage’ people face problem immediately [because ‘they don’t seem to know that person anymore’].

One can also make a assumption that perhaps these types of marriages face furthermore problems than other marriages [without pre-marital relations] because one has an already fixed an expectation that this person was such before and should be so now. Where as a couple whom have not had pre-martial relations will be open-minded and become willing to face any problem that come their way”.

Another time Shaykh said “A young man came to me and said ‘Shaykh I don’t find my wife attractive any more, and neither does she find me attractive. I don’t understand’, he said ‘before marriage we were extremely attracted to each other’. I replied [said Shaykh] to this young chap. ‘It’s quite simple. The love that you had was actually an infatuation, and Shaytaan deliberately put that attraction in the both of you so that you went on committing sin before marriage. It was favourable for him to do so because you were both in grave loss. However, after you got married, your interaction became Halal and lawful, so in fact, instead of sin you were now gaining reward, so Shaytaan removed that attraction, because you were evidently in gain!”

Source: In Shaykh’s Company

Visiting the Sick

It is a Sunnah of our Beloved Prophet Muhammad صلى الله عليه وسلم to visit the sick. We should always visit those who are sick because it helps us to reflect and take heed, as those who are ill are close to Allah Ta’ala. We have only to consider that the sick person has no one to call but Allah, nothing to reflect on but Allah, and his condition reminds us of the blessing of health.

Hadrat Abu Moosa رضى الله تعالى عنه reports that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, ‘Visit the sick, feed the hungry and free the one who is imprisoned (unjustly).’ [Sahih Bukhaari]

Hadrat Abu Hurairah رضى الله تعالى عنه reports that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, “On the Day of Qiyaamah, Allah Ta’ala will announce: O son of Aadam, I was sick yet you did not visit me. He will reply, ‘O Allah, how could I have visited You since you are Rabbul ‘aalameen? Allah Ta’ala will say: Did you not know that so and so slave of mine was sick, and yet you did not visit him? Should you have visited him you would have found Me by him.” [Sahih Muslim]

Hadrat Ali رضى الله تعالى عنه reports that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, ‘When a Muslim visits his sick Muslim brother in the morning, seventy thousand angels make dua for his forgiveness till the evening. And when he visits him in the evening, seventy thousand angels make dua for his forgiveness till the morning, and he will be granted a garden for it in Jannah.’ [Timizi, Abu Dawood]

Hadrat Anas رضى الله تعالى عنه reports that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, ‘When a person performs a proper wudhu (observing all its etiquette) and then goes to visit his sick Muslim brother with the intention of gaining sawaab, then he will be kept far away from the Fire of Jahannam by a distance equivalent of Sixty years.’ [Abu Dawood]

Our Beloved Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم also said, ‘Whoever visits a sick person (for the pleasure of Allah), a Caller from the skies announces: You are indeed blessed and your walking is blessed and you have (by this noble act) built yourself a home in Jannah.’ [Ibn Maajah]

Hadrat Ibn Abbaas رضى الله تعالى عنه relates: It is part of the Sunnah that when you visit a sick person, you should shorten your visit to him and make the least amount of noise by him. [Mishkaat]

Once our Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, ‘The best type of visit to a sick person is when the visitor gets up to leave without delay.’ [Bayhaqi]

If we act upon these simple teachings, then the visitors to a hospital will no longer remain a problem for those who are in charge of the administration of hospitals.

Hadrat Umm Salmah رضى الله عنها relates that the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said, ‘When you visit a sick person or (go to the home of) someone who has died, then speak only what is good, for the angels say ‘aameen’ to whatever you will say.’ [Sahih Muslim]

Hadrat Abu Sa’eed Khudri رضى الله تعالى عنه reports that Rasulullah صلى الله عليه وسلم said, ‘When you visit a sick person, speak in a reassuring way to him (about his age and his life).’ (For instance, tell him, ‘Alhamdulillah, your health has improved’ or ‘Inshaa Allah you will get better soon.’) Saying this will not delay what is predestined, but it will certainly make him feel happy.’ [Tirmizi, Ibn Maajah]

Source: Sickness- also a Mercy from Allah

Key Advice for the Newly Wed

Based on the advices of Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat
prepared by Brother Aslam Patel

“You have never seen anything better than marriage for those who love.” (Ibne Mãjah)

Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat dãmat barakãtuhum advises:
1. Every action is dependant upon intention. When marrying, both partners should therefore make a firm intention to accomplish the following objectives:

  • Following the Sunnah of our beloved Nabee Muhammad s.
  • Safeguarding oneself from sins.
  • Parenting pious children.

2. When marrying, each becomes the other’s lifetime companion. Each should understand and appreciate that Allah S has brought them both together and that their destiny in life has now become one. Whatever the circumstances: happiness or sorrow; health or sickness; wealth or poverty; comfort or hardship; trial or ease; all events are to be confronted together as a team with mutual affection and respect. No matter how wealthy, affluent, materially prosperous and “better-off” another couple may appear, one’s circumstances are to be happily accepted with qanã‘at (contentment upon the Choice of Allah S). The wife should happily accept her husband, his home and income as her lot and should always feel that her husband is her true beloved and best friend and well-wisher in all family decisions. The husband too should accept his wife as his partner-for-life and not cast a glance towards another.

3. Nowadays, the husband reads about, and is well-informed of his rights and demands them. Similarly, the wife reads of her rights and expects them. However, both should concentrate on being aware of each other’s rights and then strive to fulfil them. This is the prescription for a prosperous marriage and everlasting love.

4. During the first year of marriage, the couple must try and spend as much time as possible together. This is especially true for the first two months as it provides an opportunity to understand each other’s temperaments and establishes a firm foundation which contributes towards securing a prosperous marriage.

5. The couple (especially the husband) must make a point to arrive home early after ‘Ishã Salãh and scrupulously avoid the habit of socialising with friends late into the evening. Wherever possible, business, employment and other activities should be concluded beforehand or curtailed in order to set aside time for spending together.

6. Mutual respect between husband and wife should not be lost. They should each be very particular about following the Deen right from the initial stages of married life. This will also ensure a religious environment for the children to be nurtured in, contributing greatly towards their successful upbringing.

7. True and everlasting prosperity is only possible for Muslims when they follow the Sunnah of Rasoolullah s in all affairs. The couple too, should adhere to the teachings of Rasoolullah s in all their matters and abstain from anything which contradicts them. Careful attention should be given to this in their intimate relationship too. Inshã’allah this will be an assured approach to acquiring the blessing of pious offspring.

8. In the initial stages of marriage, the love between the couple is a physical bond, wherein emotional changes take place all the time. Despite great passion and physical love for each other, affection between the couple is not yet well established or on a rational basis. Such rational love comes after many years together. It is therefore extremely important for the husband not to succumb to emotional weaknesses at the onset and let the marriage waver towards an irreligious direction. Both the husband and wife should make a pledge to each other to steadfastly follow the Deen, especially in the performance of Salãh and in avoiding all sins.

9. Marriage is like the weather, forever changing. Sometimes it is cloudy and rainy, life appears gloomy, then the sun appears and rays of happiness break through bringing joy. At times, one experiences rain, wind and sunshine all in one day. Such is life, and like the seasons, we go through different experiences. The secret is to remain devoted and steadfast to one’s Deen and spouse.

10. The husband should be sympathetic to the fact that his wife has left her parents, brothers and sisters to start a new life with him. Her sacrifice and her feelings should be respected and joy should be felt by both partners at the expansion of their families.
Just as the wife should treat her husband’s parents as her own, he should also extend affection, courtesy and respect to his new in-laws.

11. As soon as one experiences a problem, no matter how trivial, which remains unresolved for more than three days, consult a person who is both knowledgeable and your sincere well-wisher.

Source: Islamic Da’wah Academy

Marriage Breakdown

Nowadays, the general trend governing marriages is that the husband views his responsibility towards his family as being a purely materialistic one i.e. to provide financially for them (a house, car, clothes, etc). This attittude is resulting in many marriages breaking down since many husbands are seriously deficient in not spending sufficient time with their families – in communicating and interacting with the family and children. Islam presents a different view of the role of the husband, where he is made responsible for the Islamic nurturing and development of his wife and children as well as their psychological and moral welfare.

In actual fact the time which he spends with his family is not only a responsibility but an act of Ibaadat for which he will be rewarded. Sad to note that despite this, many husbands become restless and seek every opportunity to withdraw from their families by, among other things:

  • Spending a great deal of time watching sports on TV
  • Spending many afternoons and evenings ‘with the boys’ at THE CLUB
  • Going off at weekends to play golf or fishing.

 

It also often transpires that if the wife (reluctantly) agrees to an arrangement allowing the husband regular time ‘with the boys’ the opportunity is used for other purposes e.g. conducting illicit relationships (adultery), etc.

He seeks more and more to be away from his family and should the wife raise even the mildest objection, he usually reacts with a great temper tantrum. Sadly, many wives endure this torture of loneliness and neglect with a great deal of bitterness and sorrow, tolerating their miserable condition because they have no where else to go. How often have you heard a tearful wife say, ‘He’s got more time for his friends than for me’.

 

BROTHER HEED THIS WARNING:
If you are guilty of this type of behaviour then you will have no one but yourself to blame if your marriage hits the rocks. CHANGE NOW! There can never be a limit to the love and attention that you can give to your wife and children. Aside from Deeni activities and basic business activities, devote yourselves towards your wife and children. It will pay excellent dividends.

Allah’s Messenger (Sallallaahu layhi Wasallam) said, ‘The best of you is he who is best to his family’. (Mishkat)

 

Source: Right Islam

Accepting an Invitation

Hadhrat Abdullah ibn Umar (Radiyallahu anhu) narrates that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
“The person who is invited amongst you by his brother should accept the invitation whether it is a wedding invitation or anything similar to it.” [Muslim]

Hadhrat Jabir ibn Abdullah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
“If anyone of you is invited to partake of meals, he should at least accept the invitation. Thereafter he may partake of it if he desires or he may totally abstain from it.” [Muslim]

Hadhrat Abu Hurairah (radiallahu anhu) narrates that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
“If anyone of you is invited for meals, he should accept the invitation. If he is fasting, he should make Duaa (of goodness and blessing) for the inviter (some maintain that he should set out and perform salaah at the host’s house), and if he is not fastin he should partake of the meal.” [Muslim]

No excuse will be entertained in declining an invitation. However, if wine and other intoxicants are provided at the invitation or food will be eaten out of gold and silver utensils or there is a fear of any other evil, one should on no account accept the invitation.

If uninvited people accompany one who is invited, he should firstly seek the host’s consent so that he is not annoyed and disheartened (by the arrival of an uninvited guest).

Hadhrat Abu Masood Badri (radiallahu anhu) narrates: A certain person invited the Holy Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم over for meals. Including the Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم, food was prepared for 5 people. On the way to the invitation, a sixth person joined them. When the group arrived at the door of the host, the Holy Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم said:
“This person has also joined us. if you wish to, you may permit him or else he will return.”
He (the host) said:
“O Prophet of Allah صلى الله عليه وسلم, I don’t mind him partaking of the meal.” [Muslim]

Hadhrat Abdullah ibn Masood (radiallahu anhu) says that the Holy Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said:
“Accept the invitation of he who invites you. Avoid declining a gift and refrain from annoying the Muslims.” [Muslim]

Source: The 40 Pathways to Jannah by Sheikh Khalid Sayyid Ali

Accompanying the Janazah

This means that one should accompany the deceased up to his grave. On this he will be granted entry into paradise together with a reward of 2 Qeerats.

Hadhrat Thawbaan (R.A.) narrates that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: “The one who observes salaah on the deceased receives the reward of one Qeerat whilst he who takes part in the burial as well will be entitled to two Qeerats and each Qeerat is equivalent to Mount Uhad.” [Muslim]

Therefore he who wishes to proceed with the Janazah should wait until the end of the burial so that he may earn the reward of two Qeerats. Together with this, the greater the number of people attending the Namaaz, the more beneficial it is for the deceased.

Hadhrat Ayesha (R.A.) narrates that the Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said: “There is no mayyit (deceased) upon whom a group of one hundred Muslims perform the Janazah Salaah and intercede in his favour but the intercession will be accepted.” [Muslim]

Source: The 40 Pathways to Jannah by Sheikh Khalid Sayyid Ali