Finding a Marriage Partner

Q. What are Islamically permissible ways in which to meet women with intention for marriage, if you live in a society where your best opportunity to meet a muslim woman is at the workplace or in a secondary school?

A. Marriage is an institution which is filled with respect and dignity and so, everything that leads to marriage must be filled with the same. Dating, as we have seen brings about a great amount of sins and wrongdoings on the part of the boy and the girl. As such, a Muslim boy or girl must never be trapped into this web of satan.

In accordance to the guidelines given in the beautiful teachings of Islam, when one seeks a partner in marriage, he/she must consult with the parents or other close family members. The parents/guardian etc. will then enquire from others in the community and beyond about a good boy or girl for their son/daughter. When a certain match is found, the parents/guardian should enquire about the traits, habits and character of that person. If they are pleased, then they would introduce the boy to the girl. At this point the boy and girl may speak to each other within the presence of blood relatives and may then decide that they would marry each other. Even at this time, it is not permissible for both of them to go out alone, to be in seclusion or to maintain any sort of relationship which is seen from a husband and wife.

Besides the above, if a boy happens to see a girl which may interest him or vice versa, then they must consult with their parents and proceed thereafter in accordance to the guidelines given in the beautiful teachings of Islam. If the parent finds it difficult to find a suitable wife/husband for their son/daughter (through their contacts) then they may continue to enquire from friends, the Imam, persons in the community or even distant relatives.

And Allah knows best.

Mufti Waseem Khan
Darul Uloom Trinidad & Tobago

10 thoughts on “Finding a Marriage Partner”

  1. Assalmu Alaikum
    If only we could get the ummah to follow these guidelines, we would have a better world. Insha Allah (swt).

  2. I’ve never received an interest from my parents’ friends, imam, persons in the community or relatives. I am now 40 years old and still I’m waiting for one of these groups to find me a spouse.

    Look, in a western country, the methods you have mentioned do not work.

    There are hundreds of women like myself who have relied on the “traditional” methods described in this article, and we are sitting around unmarried while so many muslim men marry slim, fair, pretty young things, often non-muslim women who then “convert”.

    The muslim community has acted abhorently in this regard. In my community, the muslims do not help each other to get married. My entire future has been held in the hands of my parents’ friends, who have not lifted a finger to help me get married.

    Islam does not make things restrictive. Islam encourages marriage and parenthood. But what has happened is that muslims immigrate to non-muslim countries, then give birth to children, then insist that their children remain unmarried. Astaghfirullah. I think you owe it to the muslims reading this to give more options for getting married. These traditional methods work in muslim countries, but in non-muslim countries they have left muslim women disappointed, alone, unmarried and childless.

  3. Can you tell me a dua to pray to find a suitable marriage partner?
    Been looki g for plus 4 years but they always end up going no where
    Really helpless sister

  4. from 10 years i”v been looking the life partner for my sister but unfortunately everytime we got negative feedback though my sister is really gud looking and religious and a perfect daughter in all aspects. pls. suggest a dua for her.

  5. M.safety..may Allah assist us..but since no one is willin to get u a wife..I think u shuld watch out urself..if u find any of ur choice den u can call to d notice of freinds and relatives to help u go c d parents..salamualaikun..

  6. As-Salaam Alaikum, I hope u find the d husband you need. but find one that fears ALLAh and has things common with you.

  7. RECITE SURAH YASIN ALONG WITH SURAH RAHMAN IN EVERY SALAT.INSHA ALLAH UR WISHES WILL BE ANSWERED BY ALLAH (SWT).MAY ALLAH (SWT) GUIDE U ALL(AAMIN)

  8. The issues raised by ms. Safety are very common in some semi-muslim countries. What me I think is that if one sees someone he or she like, one can talk to each other and if both party think they are compartible, then they can let their parrent know for final approval. In as much they are not indulging in a sinful act, I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. The way outlined by imam above only seems to work only in arabs world and may be some core islamic countries.

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