Those who do not really want to apologize for the wrong they have done choose words that make it seem to be an apology yet it is not. “I am sorry for how you felt” is neither an admission of guilt nor an apology for what was done. It is more like saying, “What I did was correct but how you felt was wrong.” The same applies to those who “apologize for how you reacted”.
Is it not foolish to apologize for a reaction by someone else, of our deed or utterance? If we were truly apologetic for what we did, we would consider ourselves wrong and put aside all pride by choosing words like “I am sorry for what I said or did”. Many times when a “but” is added to an apology it is a mere justification or a showered down apology which could be insincere.
Whenever we apologize we should consider the wording of the apology and be as clear and sincere as possible. Never allow pride to block, disrupt, delay or water down an apology owed to others. May the Almighty forgive our shortcomings and guide us to the straight path.
Mufti Ismail Menk