THIS ARTICLE HAS BEEN REMOVED BECAUSE MOST OF THE NARRATIONS (IF NOT ALL) WERE FABRICATED WITHIN IT.
by Moulana Moosa ibn Ahmad Olgar, extract: Upbringing of Children
After some time has elapsed, the couple desire that Allah Taa’la bless them with a child and thus through marital consummation Allah Taa’la grants their wish. The first stage that follows is that of pregnancy. A person should not be ashamed of being pregnant or treat it as a big burden, as there are many beautiful virtues and rewards for being pregnant.
Virtues for being Pregnant
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “The woman that dies in her virginity or during her pregnancy or at the time of birth or thereafter (in nifaas) will attain the rank of a martyr.”
It is mentioned in another Hadith that Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Does it not please you (O Women!) that when you conceive from your husbands while he is pleased with you then that woman will receive such reward equal to that of a fasting person in the path of Allah and spending the night in ibaadat. When her labour pains commence the inhabitants of the earth and the sky are unaware of the stores of comfort that are prepared for her. When she delivers and breast feeds her child then she will be granted a reward for every gulp of milk, and if she had to remain awake during the night for the sake of her child, she will receive the reward of emancipating seventy slaves in the path of Allah. O Salaamat! Do you know who these women are? They are pious, upright, delicately natured but yet are obedient to their husbands and not ungrateful to them.”
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “A woman from her pregnancy till the time of weaning her child is like one protecting the boundaries of the Islamic state. If she passes away during this period she attains the reward of martyrdom.”
In another Hadith it is mentioned that, “The woman who dies of labour pains is regarded as a martyr (shaheedah).”
A woman should therefore gladly bear these difficulties patiently and calmly as she will be highly rewarded.
Hazrat Mail bin Yasaar (radiyallahu anhu) narrates that Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Marry such women who are loving and produce children (in abundance) because (on the day of Qiyaamah) I will vie with other Ummats and be proud of your numbers.”
In another Hadith Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “Even the miscarried foetus will drag its mother towards Jannat if she exercised patience with the hope of acquiring reward.”
Rasulullah (Sallallahu alayhi wasallam) said: “When the woman breast feeds then on every gulp of milk the child receives, the reward is as though she has granted life to a being and when she weans her child, then the angels pat her on her back saying: CONGRATULATIONS! all your past sins have been forgiven, now start all over again.”
[By sins is intended the minor sins, this is also a great reward.]
Source: Beautiful Islam
Once a woman has confirmed her pregnancy, she should express her gratitude before Allah Ta’ala as this is indeed a great bounty of Allah Ta’ala. This is such a boon that many people beseech Allah Ta’ala throughout their lives for pious children but Allah Ta’ala has destined otherwise. In fact one of the greatest Nabîes of Allah Ta’ala, Prophet Ibrahim (Alayhis salaam) used to supplicate to Allah Ta’ala most profoundly and frequently. Even Hadrat Zakariyya (Alayhis salaam) used to supplicate for children most passionately and fervently during the latter part of his life.
Hence, a Muslim woman is required to express her gratitude unto Allah Ta’ala for this great bounty. Gratitude may be expressed in the following ways:
1. Recite the following Du’aa very frequently:
Allahummâ Lakal Hamdû Wa Lakash-Shukru
Translation: O Allah! All praises are due to You alone and I express my gratitude unto You alone (for granting me the honour of motherhood).
2. Allocate a fixed time for two Rak‘aat of Nafl Salaat. Whilst in Sajdah, make Du‘aa abundantly. Recite the following Du’aa as well:
Rabbi Hab Liy Min-Ladunka Zurriyatan-Tayyibah Innaka Sam‘iud-Du’aa
Translation: O my Lord! Bless me from your side with pure children. Verily You are all-hearing of the Du’aa.
3. Recite the following Du’aa as well:
Rabbi-j‘alniy Muqeema-Salaati wa min Zurriyatiy Rabbanaa wa Taqabbal Du’aa
Translation: O my Lord! Render me as well as my progeny as establishers of Salâh and accept our Du’aas.
4. Similarly, express your gratitude from the heart in such a manner that you stay happy and try to stay happy at all times. Try to forget all your past sorrows. Build your dreams and keep your hopes and spirits high. Ponder over the bounties of Jannat.
Instead of embroiling yourself in the daily disputes with the mother-in-law and sisters-in law and instead of involving yourself with the unbecoming behaviour of your husband, maintain strict silence. On the impending happiness of the birth of your child, maintain a friendly and trouble-free relationship with all. If you do tend to hurt anyone, apologise immediately and try to forget about the dispute. If you continue vexing others, the evil effects of this nature will fall on the unborn child as well. The conditions of the mother during pregnancy, in fact even her spirit and perceptions during this state has a profound effect on the unborn child.
Hence, a Muslim woman should express gratitude at all times especially during the period of her pregnancy. This gratitude should in turn develop in her the love of Allah Ta’ala. She should ponder that since Allah Ta’ala has blessed us with so many bounties, we should also devote ourselves to Him. To disobey such a majestic benefactor – by strutting about veil-less, watching television, videos, backbiting etc. – at any time and especially during pregnancy is not acceptable. Allah Ta’ala showers His bounties upon us and we in turn disobey Him!?
The first month of pregnancy
Remember that you are not a single entity now. Now a child is being nourished within your own body. With a bit of precaution on your part, this child may become healthy, intelligent, understanding, pious and religious. However, with your negligence and indifference, the child may turn out to be weak, sickly and incompetent.
Hence, your life should not be the same as it was before you fell pregnant. Every moment should be passed with caution and concern over the well-being of yourself as well your child. Therefore, pay careful attention to the following points:
1. Be careful with your diet. Chew your food thoroughly before swallowing. Avoid over-eating and abstain from food that can cause constipation.
2. Eat green, fresh vegetables, like salads, cucumbers etc. in abundance. Make sure that they are clean and washed before use.
3. Drink lots of sour-milk and milk. Drink as much milk as your digestive system can handle. Milk is a very blessed form of nutrition. After consuming other types of food, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) would utter:
Allahummâ At‘imnâ Khayran-Minhu
Translation: O Allah! Grant us food better than this (in Jannat).
However, milk is of such a blessed nature that there is no food better than milk since after drinking milk Rasûlullâh recited the following Du’aa:
Allahummâ Bârik Lanâ Fîhî wa Zidnâ Minhu
Translation: O Allah! Bless us in this and increase it for us.
In other words, whilst drinking milk, Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) did not ask for something better (as he did in the case of other foods), because there is no better food than milk. This is why he beseeched Allah Ta’ala for Barkat (blessing) and increase in it.
In short, a pregnant woman should drink lots of milk because Allah Ta’ala has placed the vitamins and proteins required by the human body in milk.
If pure or raw milk is detrimental to you, consume it in other forms like Lassî (curds), sour-milk, custard, Khîr etc. This is beneficial to the mother as well as the child.
4. Abstain from tea, coffee, Pân (betel leaf), oil, Ghee, chillies and oily foods. Besides affecting the digestive system, these foods are detrimental to the muscles and nervous system of the mother and may also affect the child.
5. Ensure that you refrain from all types of medication during pregnancy especially pain-relievers. If you are really desperate, consult a reliable female (or male) doctor explaining your pregnancy and conditions to her. It should not be such that you are prescribed medication that is injurious to pregnant women. Some medication clearly states on the label that it is not advisable for pregnant women. Hence, if you are really desperate to use some medication, make sure you scrutinize the label and make thorough investigation before use.
6. In the first three months and the last month, in fact from the seventh month onwards, avoid sexual contact with your husband. This at times, adversely affects the mother and the child.
7. Avoid sleeping late. Try to get at least eight hours of peaceful sleep. This will ensure that your body and mind is well rested. This in turn is beneficial for the child as well and it may simplify delivery of the child.
8. Avoid excessively hard work and picking up very heavy objects as this may lead to a miscarriage. If your cruel mother-in-law or hard-hearted sister-in-law compels you to pick up heavy objects or forces you to carry out some difficult task, then excuse yourself very politely and explain to them that this task is beyond you and that you will pay a labourer to carry out this task.
However, if your cruel mother-in-law or hard-hearted sister-in-law fails to take pity on your condition, explain your helplessness to your husband and with his permission, go to your mother’s house to rest. If you are a sister-in-law to another woman (your brother’s wife), don’t be cruel to her as well. The moment she falls pregnant, try to make her comfortable and relaxed at all times. Your benevolence won’t be directed to your sister-in-law alone but you will be showing mercy to a sinless child, a priceless gem, a blossoming flower, the coolness of your brother’s eyes, a luminance of this worldly life and a source of perpetual reward for the hereafter. The degree of happiness and comfort of your sister-in-law or daughter-in-law will, Inshâ Allah Ta’ala, determine the well-being, health, robustness and happiness of the new arrival.
This is the story of a Muslim named Mo.
It’s a symbolic story that many of us may know.
He was born in a Muslim family but they were weak in the deen.
He was a lovely child, he was more precious then anything you’ve seen.
He grew up so quick; it was just a flash before his parent’s eyes.
They didn’t get to teach him about Islam. You know how the time just flies.
Before they knew it, they were sending him off to school.
They were so happy; he shined like a precious little jewel.
He was taught that he was a Muslim, but that’s about all he knew.
He wanted to know more but his dad had way too many things to do.
He had cute little cheeks; they turned rosy as he got tired.
He was a handsome little guy, he was always admired.
But with his parents so busy, he never got to learn about Allah.
The days past by and his parents never taught him how to do Salah.
Some more years past by, and by now his voice began to change.
He felt new emotions, and he liked them, even though they felt strange.
His dad finally took him one day to some Islamic Sunday school.
But he had already learned from his friends that religion just wasn’t cool.
Time passed by and the little man grew older.
With the passage of time his temper became bolder.
His mother was getting worried, he was found to be ditching school.
But she didn’t say anything, or else his temper would flare up like fuel.
He would go to parties and come home all drunk.
And in some of his classes he was now beginning to flunk.
Her cute little rosy-cheeked child had become a wild young man.
She cried every night because teaching him Islam was never in her plan.
He meet a pretty girl named Rose, he thought he loved her for sure.
She noticed how he felt, so she asked him to go out with her.
He thought it was love at first sight, she kissed him on the first date.
But she just wanted to sleep with him, yet to that he had no debate.
He would go out all night with her, sometimes without even saying good-bye.
“Why didn’t I show him the deen?” His father could only cry.
He kept on partying while his family kept on weeping.
And he meet other girls, and with them too he was also sleeping.
He started to look sick, and he wasn’t really felling so good.
His mother just had to cry, he didn’t look like the way he should.
He went to the doctor for what he thought was a cold.
“Young man, you got AIDS,” is what he was told.
When his mom found out she just couldn’t take the pain.
For not teaching him his deen, she knew she was to blame.
Mo got sicker and you could see him getting weaker day by day.
And he didn’t know Allah, so to Him he never prayed.
What could she do now for her once precious little guy?
She knew he needed the deen, but now she could only cry.
His time came one day so the Angel came for his spirit.
His dad told him to say la ilaha illalah, but Mo didn’t hear it.
“What’s that dad? I can’t seem to hear you, everything’s going dull.”
But before Mo ever heard it, the Angel was off with his soul.
His father fell to his knees and cried like he never did before.
He knew he should have taught him the deen, so he felt guilty to the core.
This is the story of little Mo. Lets not let it be the story of our kid’s
situation. So please, my dear brothers and sisters, take this deen to the next
generation with seriousness and its totality
and we must show it to them from our action inshaAllah.
May Allah azza wa jaal guide us all to The Truth Of Al-Islam, protect us from all evils and make us the carriers of Islam to the next generation and the rest of humanity Ameen.
The real orphan is unruly
yet he thinks he acts coolly
He loves to rant and rave;
is it attention he craves?
Who has produced one so errant?
surely it is the hopeless parent!
The father too busy in the shop
the mother buying another shapely top!
The parents cares for him not
letting him to lie and rot
If one has to about him complain
the parents says; ‘surely my angel isn’t to blame!’
To the parents I say; ‘if you leave the nanny to bring up your child,’
‘do you expect him to behave other than wild?’
1. Teach by example, because children listen with their eyes.
2. Introduce Allah to your child: His glory, obedience to Him over obedience to anyone else, asking only from Him, Importance of the Faraa’idh.
3. Introduce Rasoolullah (S) to your child: His life & times, following his Sunnah in everything in life, his Message, and his Work: Da’wah.
4. Systematic education of Islam parallel with regular education: 4-5 hours/week; Arabic language, Tajweed, Qira’ah ul-Qur’an, Aqeedah, Hadith, Fiqh, Seerah.
5. Manners: Akhlaaq. Attention to detail about all aspects of behavior reinforced by your own behavior. You have to practice what you preach.
6.Concern for others : Self centered: Family members, environment, servants, strangers, road users, neighbors, shop keepers: Sensitive or senseless?
7. Physical fitness: Mothers stop pampering. Regular sports, especially team sports, nutrition, no junk food.
8. Scheduling time: Wake & Sleep early, TV, Daily Muhasiba, diary writing.
9. Responsibility: School projects, commons, home, neighborhood,
10. Drive for excellence in everything: Being No.1. Winning is a habit. So is losing. Focus on quality. Be a Standard Bearer of Islam.
1. You should not cause them any harm even if they commit any excesses.
2. Respect and honour them in your speech and dealings with them.
3. Obey them in permissible acts.
4. If they are in need of money, assist them even if they are kafirs.
5. The following rights are due to parents after their death:
(a) Continue making duas of forgiveness and mercy for them. Continue sending rewards to them in the form of optional acts of worship and charity on their behalf.
(b) Meet their friends and relatives in a friendly way and also assist them wherever possible.
(c) If you have the finances, fulfil their unpaid debts and the permissible bequests that they have made.
(d) When they pass away, abstain from crying and wailing aloud or else their souls will be troubled.
6. According to the Shariah, the rights of the paternal and maternal grandparents are similar to those of the parents and they should be regarded as such.
7. Similarly, the rights of the maternal and paternal uncles and aunts are similar to those of the parents. This has been deduced from certain Ahadith. (Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “The maternal aunt has the status of one�s mother.” – Tirmidhi)
As if its not already obvious the harm and detriment the TV causes to children and adults. I still thought it would be good to share this article I came accross a little while back.
by David Burke
A policy statement of the American Academy of Pediatrics has made clear what many parents have suspected for a long time: Television is bad for young children. In the Academy’s journal Pediatrics the report’s authors write: “Pediatricians should urge parents to avoid television viewing for children under the age of 2 years.”
It continues: “While certain television programmes may be promoted to this age group, research on early brain development shows that babies and toddlers have a critical need for direct interactions with parents and other significant care givers for healthy brain growth and development of appropriate social, emotional and cognitive skills.” The Academy also recommends that viewing for older children be limited to two hours a day.
Media commentators seemed unable to come to grips with the simplicity and directness of the Academy’s message. Many were left clinging to their usual advice that ‘moderation is best’. Anne Woods, producer of the Teletubbies, tried to reassure parents that watching her programme was somehow an interactive experience for children, and the programme’s US marketer, Kenn Viselman, dismissed the advice of the 55,000 doctors as “a bunch of malarky”.
But the Academy is not going away. They have also advised their members to ask parents about “media history” when treating eating disorders and obesity. Their report will add to concerns raised in 1996 by a study in Manchester showing that exposure to television causes delayed acquisition of language in toddlers.
It is mentioned in a hadith that Nabi (sallalaahu alayhi wassallam) said, ” When a female child is born, Allah Ta’ala sends His angels to that house. They come to the dwellers of the house and pray that peace may be upon them, The angels then cover the newly born girl in the shadow of their wings and caressing the head of the baby with their hands they say that, this is a weak and frail person, whoever will bear the responsibility of cherishing her will go on having the blessing of Allah Ta’ala as long as that person remains alive.” ( Al-Mojam al – Saghir li Tabrani).
Source: Upbringing Children in Islam