“Your daughter is entrusted to you by the Almighty, so look after her well.
But your daughter in law is entrusted to you by BOTH the Almighty as well as her family, so fulfil the trust with greater care.”
Mufti Ismail Menk
I adore you mum! So please help me fulfil your rights by fulfilling mine. Respecting my wife makes it much easier for us to respect you.
I love you my wife! So help me fulfil your rights by fulfilling mine. Respecting my mother makes it much easier for me to respect you.
Happily ever after.
Mufti Ismail Menk
1. Teach children to use the right hand for eating, drinking, giving and taking. To eat and drink while sitting, and to stay, ‘Bismillah’ before eating and, ‘Alhamdulillah’ after finishing.
2. Teach children hygienic etiquette, to clip fingernails and toe nails, and to wash hands before and after eating.
3. Teach them how to clean themselves after using the toilet and how to keep urine off their clothes.
4. Correct their mistakes kindly and privately without scolding them.
5. Instruct them to listen to the Adhaan quietely and repeat the words of Adhaan after the Muadhin, then to ask Allah to exalt the mention of the Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] and supplicate the following,
‘O Allah, the Rabb (Lord) of this complete invitation, and the ready prayer, grant Muhammad the means and the virtue, and raise him to a praised rank which You have promised him.’
6. Assign each of them a separate bed, if possible, otherwise a separate cover. It is most preferable to have a room for girls and another for boys.
7. Instruct them to remove harmful objects off the road and not to throw litter on it.
8. Warn against bad company and against loitering.
9. Greet children with Assalaamu alaykum at home, in school, and in public.
10. Instruct children to be kind to neighbours and to be helpful to them, and avoid bothering or disturbing them.
11. Instruct them to be courteous to guests and to treat them with generosity.
The rule of Music and Singing
It is the duty of the educators to warn children against listening to music and singing. Allah states, ‘And of men who take idle talk to lead men away from the path of Allah without knowledge, and make fun of it. For such there will be humiliating punishment.’ (31:6)
Most scholars are agreed that idle talk is nothing but singing. Ibn Mas’ood [radhiallaahu anhu] said the same. Allah also addressed Satan saying, ‘And excite whoever you can with your sound.’ (17:64)
The Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘There will be from my Ummah those who will deem as lawful; fonircation, silk (for Muslim males), liquor and music.’
The great scholar Mujahid and others said, ‘The sound of Satan is music and singing.’
Singing of Today
Most, if not all, of the singing today talks about love, voluptuous desires, kissing and details of a woman’s body and other sexual connotations, things that excite the youth and incite them to establish illicit relations.
The best way to combat the habit of listening to music is reading the Qur’aan and the rememberance of Allah, and reading the Seerah or the biography of the Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam].
Obedience to Parents
If you want to attain success in both worlds, then you should apply the following advice:
1. Speak politely to your parents and humble yourself before them and be kind to them, and never scold them nor express a word of disgust to them.
2. Obey your parents as long as no disobedience to Allah is involved.
3. Never frown at them, nor give them an angry look.
4. Honour them and guard their reputation and their property. Never take anything from them without permission.
5. Do what pleases them, and help them out even without their asking for your help.
6. Consult them in your own affairs, and apologise to them if you fail to do so.
7. Respond to them quickly and with a smile and when they call you.
8. Treat with courtesy your parents’ friends and relatives during their life and life after their death.
9. Never argue with them, nor blame them and if they err, show them politely their error.
10. Never speak to them with loud voice, and listen politely to them.
11. Help around the house, and offer help to your father at his work.
12. Do not travel without their permission, and if you do, keep in touch with them.
13. Never enter their bedroom before knocking and receiving permission to enter.
14. Never offend them by any bad habit that you may have.
15. Never start eating before they do.
16. Never give your wife or children priority over them. Seek their pleasure, for doing so secures the pleasure of Allah.
17. Do not sit on a place higher than theirs.
18. If you maintain them, never be niggardly towards them. The way you treat them, your children will treat you.
19. The most deserving of your kindness is your mother, then your father, and know that Jannah lies under the feet of mothers.
20. Never be disobedient to your parents, for this is the case of misery in both worlds.
21. Ask your parents to supplicate in your favour, because Allah responds to their Du’aa for you or against you.
22. Supplicate frequently for them, and ask Allah’s forgiveness for them.
23. Never cause anyone to curse them. The Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] explained this by saying, ‘When a man curses another, the other would curse the man’s father. So beware of this horrible sin.’
24. Remember whatever good deeds you do or accomplish, your parents will benefit from it after their death. And remember too that the Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘You and your property belong to your father’.
Guidelines for Raising Children
Abdul Rahman Abdullah Manderolla
[Source: Madrasa In’aamiyyah]
Parents are responsible to give their children the best names possible.
When naming our children we should ensure a beautiful meaning rather than an exotic sounding name void of meaning.Some parents ignorantly choose names that have a bad meaning just because it sounds good. The child grows up being called a bad name.
It is wise to choose a name that will be pronounced with ease by the community the child will grow up in. This will avoid distortions or changes in meaning due to being mispronounced.
Mufti Ismail Menk
A long time ago there lived a great saint. His name was Sharafud-Din and he loved his mother very much. Once, when Sharafud-Din was still small, his mother fell very ill and had to stay in bed. One night she awoke with a burning thirst and called out to her son to bring her a bowl of water.
The young boy hurried to her bedside, but when he returned to her bedside with the water, he discovered that she had fallen asleep again. Sharafud-Din was not sure what to do. Should he wake her up or wait until she awoke, or leave the water by her bedside and go back to bed himself? He decided to wait until she awoke. Minutes passed…hours passed…the night passed…and still the small boy waited patiently with the water at his mother’s side. Finally his mother awoke a little after the first light of dawn had paled the sky, and to her surprise there was her beloved son at her side.
“How long have you been standing here?” she asked. “You haven’t been there all night have you?”
‘Yes, mother,” he replied, “I have been here since you asked me to bring you some water.”
His mother was deeply touched by his devotion, and asked Allah to pour His blessings on her son. One day he grew up to be a great saint!
Source: Madrassah Baytul Ilm
We are what we eat. Today we complain our children are disobedient towards us, but why the surprise? If we feed our children haram (even while in the womb) then the thoughts that will be bred in their minds (later in life) will be haram. Understand well, halal foods breed halal thoughts and halal actions whilst haram food breeds haram thoughts and haram actions.
Shaykh Ashraf Ali Thanwi narrates, ‘If before birth of the child, parents were to reform themselves and adopt piety, then there is no reason why the child born too should not be pious. The actions of parents during pregnancy have a profound effect on the unborn child. Accordingly, the son of a saint was quite mischievous. Somebody queried the saint; ‘It is indeed strange; you are so pious yet your son so naughty?’ The saint replied, ‘ One evening I was invited to meals by a rich person (whose income was doubtful). After eating, my nafs became excited and I made love to my wife who became pregnant. This child is the effect of the doubtful food.’
Therefore, during pregnancy (especially) it is of the utmost importance to eat a varied halal diet brought from halal income. If in doubt regarding ingredients, leave it out.
Source: Ashrafs Blessings of Marriage published by Ashrafs Amanat
A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:
For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: $0.50
Babysitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $0.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75
Well, his mother looked at him standing there, the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he’d written on, and this is what she wrote:
For 9 months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge.
For all the nights that I’ve sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge.
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years: No Charge.
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge.
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge,
Son. When you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.
When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said,
“Mom, I sure do love you”.
And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: “PAID IN FULL”
Moral: Don’t be too consumed in yourself and what you are doing to ignore the good others do for you and the countless blessings that Almighty Allah has already granted you.
This is the story of a Muslim named Mo.
It’s a symbolic story that many of us may know.
He was born in a Muslim family but they were weak in the deen.
He was a lovely child, he was more precious then anything you’ve seen.
He grew up so quick; it was just a flash before his parent’s eyes.
They didn’t get to teach him about Islam. You know how the time just flies.
Before they knew it, they were sending him off to school.
They were so happy; he shined like a precious little jewel.
He was taught that he was a Muslim, but that’s about all he knew.
He wanted to know more but his dad had way too many things to do.
He had cute little cheeks; they turned rosy as he got tired.
He was a handsome little guy, he was always admired.
But with his parents so busy, he never got to learn about Allah.
The days past by and his parents never taught him how to do Salah.
Some more years past by, and by now his voice began to change.
He felt new emotions, and he liked them, even though they felt strange.
His dad finally took him one day to some Islamic Sunday school.
But he had already learned from his friends that religion just wasn’t cool.
Time passed by and the little man grew older.
With the passage of time his temper became bolder.
His mother was getting worried, he was found to be ditching school.
But she didn’t say anything, or else his temper would flare up like fuel.
He would go to parties and come home all drunk.
And in some of his classes he was now beginning to flunk.
Her cute little rosy-cheeked child had become a wild young man.
She cried every night because teaching him Islam was never in her plan.
He meet a pretty girl named Rose, he thought he loved her for sure.
She noticed how he felt, so she asked him to go out with her.
He thought it was love at first sight, she kissed him on the first date.
But she just wanted to sleep with him, yet to that he had no debate.
He would go out all night with her, sometimes without even saying good-bye.
“Why didn’t I show him the deen?” His father could only cry.
He kept on partying while his family kept on weeping.
And he meet other girls, and with them too he was also sleeping.
He started to look sick, and he wasn’t really felling so good.
His mother just had to cry, he didn’t look like the way he should.
He went to the doctor for what he thought was a cold.
“Young man, you got AIDS,” is what he was told.
When his mom found out she just couldn’t take the pain.
For not teaching him his deen, she knew she was to blame.
Mo got sicker and you could see him getting weaker day by day.
And he didn’t know Allah, so to Him he never prayed.
What could she do now for her once precious little guy?
She knew he needed the deen, but now she could only cry.
His time came one day so the Angel came for his spirit.
His dad told him to say la ilaha illalah, but Mo didn’t hear it.
“What’s that dad? I can’t seem to hear you, everything’s going dull.”
But before Mo ever heard it, the Angel was off with his soul.
His father fell to his knees and cried like he never did before.
He knew he should have taught him the deen, so he felt guilty to the core.
This is the story of little Mo. Lets not let it be the story of our kid’s
situation. So please, my dear brothers and sisters, take this deen to the next
generation with seriousness and its totality
and we must show it to them from our action inshaAllah.
May Allah azza wa jaal guide us all to The Truth Of Al-Islam, protect us from all evils and make us the carriers of Islam to the next generation and the rest of humanity Ameen.
The real orphan is unruly
yet he thinks he acts coolly
He loves to rant and rave;
is it attention he craves?
Who has produced one so errant?
surely it is the hopeless parent!
The father too busy in the shop
the mother buying another shapely top!
The parents cares for him not
letting him to lie and rot
If one has to about him complain
the parents says; ‘surely my angel isn’t to blame!’
To the parents I say; ‘if you leave the nanny to bring up your child,’
‘do you expect him to behave other than wild?’
1. You should not cause them any harm even if they commit any excesses.
2. Respect and honour them in your speech and dealings with them.
3. Obey them in permissible acts.
4. If they are in need of money, assist them even if they are kafirs.
5. The following rights are due to parents after their death:
(a) Continue making duas of forgiveness and mercy for them. Continue sending rewards to them in the form of optional acts of worship and charity on their behalf.
(b) Meet their friends and relatives in a friendly way and also assist them wherever possible.
(c) If you have the finances, fulfil their unpaid debts and the permissible bequests that they have made.
(d) When they pass away, abstain from crying and wailing aloud or else their souls will be troubled.
6. According to the Shariah, the rights of the paternal and maternal grandparents are similar to those of the parents and they should be regarded as such.
7. Similarly, the rights of the maternal and paternal uncles and aunts are similar to those of the parents. This has been deduced from certain Ahadith. (Rasulullah sallallahu alayhi wa sallam said: “The maternal aunt has the status of one�s mother.” – Tirmidhi)