Marriage Breakdown
Nowadays, the general trend governing marriages is that the husband views his responsibility towards his family as being a purely materialistic one i.e. to provide financially for them (a house, car, clothes, etc). This attittude is resulting in many marriages breaking down since many husbands are seriously deficient in not spending sufficient time with their families – in communicating and interacting with the family and children. Islam presents a different view of the role of the husband, where he is made responsible for the Islamic nurturing and development of his wife and children as well as their psychological and moral welfare.
In actual fact the time which he spends with his family is not only a responsibility but an act of Ibaadat for which he will be rewarded. Sad to note that despite this, many husbands become restless and seek every opportunity to withdraw from their families by, among other things:
- Spending a great deal of time watching sports on TV
- Spending many afternoons and evenings ‘with the boys’ at THE CLUB
- Going off at weekends to play golf or fishing.
It also often transpires that if the wife (reluctantly) agrees to an arrangement allowing the husband regular time ‘with the boys’ the opportunity is used for other purposes e.g. conducting illicit relationships (adultery), etc.
He seeks more and more to be away from his family and should the wife raise even the mildest objection, he usually reacts with a great temper tantrum. Sadly, many wives endure this torture of loneliness and neglect with a great deal of bitterness and sorrow, tolerating their miserable condition because they have no where else to go. How often have you heard a tearful wife say, ‘He’s got more time for his friends than for me’.
BROTHER HEED THIS WARNING:
If you are guilty of this type of behaviour then you will have no one but yourself to blame if your marriage hits the rocks. CHANGE NOW! There can never be a limit to the love and attention that you can give to your wife and children. Aside from Deeni activities and basic business activities, devote yourselves towards your wife and children. It will pay excellent dividends.
Allah’s Messenger (Sallallaahu layhi Wasallam) said, ‘The best of you is he who is best to his family’. (Mishkat)
Source: Right Islam
Assalmualaikum. Brother i find your statemnt bold truthful and TRUE.
What does one do when they feel doomed and in despair as husbands dont like to take heed. also when the position of the female becomes so unbearable only Allah Almighty can see the level of pain she feels. When the marriage has broken down immensly and she cant leave as she has nowhere to run to. The husband doesnt want them but wont leave them?
Assalam Alaykum,
Sister as I am not experienced or knowledgeable with regards to your situation I suggest you contact a relaible scholar, perhaps in your own locality and seek their advice and help.
May Allah bless you.
The husband doesnt want them but wont leave them?
Lady may Allah guide your path.
You may feel dispair and he allows you to feel that way so he feels he can control you. Perhaps he is the weaker one, ask your doctor if you can get some counselling, it won’t change him, but it will help you feel less hopeless and stay strong for you and any children you may have.