Look at the self first

O Foolish one, how quick you were in constantly criticising others
But you have failed to diagnose your own dire condition!

Make use of your youth

If Allah gives us 60 years to live then it comes to around 22,000 days (60×365). All these days Allah gives us to prepare for one day of interview with Allah. That is on the Day of Judgement. On that day, Allah will ask us some questions and He wants some correct answers. Allah is so merciful that He already told us what the questions will be through Quran and Ahadith. His mercy is so great that He even told us the answers to these questions.

Now imagine, a student goes to write an exam. He opens his exam paper and finds the questions on one side. Then he finds that the answers to the questions are on the other side. Now after writting the exam, if this student still fails then what would we think of him? We would think that he is the dumbest person around. Well, tell you what, on the Day of Judgement, us people who knew the questions and answers will still fail! That is why, this is the time to wake up before we prove ourselves to be the dumbest of people.

Youth is the prime time of our lives. This is where people make important decisions like what to become in the future. Things you do in this time will most likely affect you throughout the rest of your life. That is why, it is important to bring Islam into your life during these days. Many people have the conception that when they get old then they will start practising Islam. Probably you and me also have this feeling. But look at it this way: If you want to become a famous hockey player then you would start playing right from the youth. As you grow up, you will become better and better. But if you think that you will start playing when you are an old man then the chances of becoming famous is virtually zero. That’s the reality. When we become old, we won’t have enough energy to even stand up and pray.

Because youth is the prime time of your life, that is why it is very precious to Allah. Allah has prepared a shade on the Day of Judgement for those people who used to worship Allah in their youth. On that Day, there will be no other shade except the shade from the throne of Allah. Imagine standing outside on a very hot day under the sun for hours after hours. You would definately want some shadow to rest under. But what about that Day when the sun will be much nearer to us and the heat will be much more extreme. Wouldn’t you want some shade on that day? Ofcourse you would!

You and I are all weak in terms of keeping our duties to Allah and Allah is aware of that. Allah wants that we keep trying to do our best. If a baby falls down while walking he tries to get up again and walk. He doesn’t keep sitting down. Then a day comes when he does start to walk. Similarly, we should keep trying our best and not give up. A day will come when, Inshallah, we will be strong enough to obey Allah in every situation. Let us make a small promise to Allah right now that we will start doing the things for which we were sent to this life. Otherwise, we will be like that dumb guy who will fail the test on the Day of Judgement.

May Allah make it easy for us. Ameen.
Source: Unknown

Bad Weather Days

Assalam Alaykum,

Recently we had a fair amount of snowfall and it actually settled which is rather unusual for us.  Anyway, one morning whilst walking through the snow I was amazed to see a lady jogging through the snow.  About a day or so later, I see another man running whilst it is still snowing in the early evening as I walk home from work.  Both of these individuals were jogging/ running as part of their exercise routine.

This got me thinking in that see how someone can be so dedicated to a particular task/ cause when they put their mind to it.  They know the outcome that if they continue to train they will eventually achieve their goal.  The goal maybe to keep fit or merely to avoid being a couch potatoe. They come across days like the above, with bad weather but still they remain undeterred.

Why do I mention this?  Well the case of a believer is similar, they know (should know!) the outcome if they do/ don’t follow the requirements laid out by the deen of Islam.  This needs to be often remembered so that we keep ourselves in check and avoid straying from the straight path.  We need to keep at the forefront of our mind the continuous effort we should make to increase our good deeds and please Almighty Allah.

Just like the runners mentioned above, the Muslim will also come accross ‘days with bad weather’ but we should not fear or despair but take it in our stride, be patient and carry on with our end goal in mind.  It maybe hard at first but with duah and perseverance, Insha’Allah we will remain strong and not waiver, even during these bad days.

Its now running late so I will end here.  These were just a few words to invoke some thoughts and keep us motivated.  All good is from Allah alone, and any mistake are from my own shortcomings.

Please remember me and my family in your duas and pray I am able to keep the site updated more frequently in future.

Wasalam

True Devotee

The most distinguished qualities of a true devotee of Allah are that he keeps his secret concealed, his self safe from sins and performs his duties towards Allah with full responsibility.
Hazrat Royam bin Mohammad

100 Pre Marital Questions

Premarital Questions

These pre marital questions are to help couples get to know each other to help determine suitability and compatibility for marriage.  Pre marital questions provide clarity and insight into the person your are considering to marry and will insha’Allah increase your confidence and trust in making the right choice.

These pre marital questions are not to be used as a list to work down in entirety, but used selectively should be a very useful tool in your quest for seeking a suitable marriage companion.

100 Pre marital questions:

MARRIAGE

  1. What is your concept of marriage?
  2. Have you been married before?
  3. Are you married now?
  4. What are you expectations of marriage?
  5. What are your goals in life? (long and short term)
  6. Identify three things that you want to accomplish in the near future.
  7. Identify three things that you want to accomplish, long term.
  8. Why have you chosen me/other person as a potential spouse?
    RELIGION
  9. What is the role of religion in your life now?
  10. Are you a spiritual person?
  11. What is your understanding of an Islamic marriage?
  12. What are you expecting of your spouse, religiously?
  13. What is your relationship between yourself and the Muslims community in your area?
  14. Are you volunteering in any Islamic activities?
  15. What can you offer your zawj (spouse), spiritually?
  16. What is the role of the husband?
  17. What is the role of the wife?
  18. Do you want to practice polygamy?
    FAMILY & IN LAWS
  19. What is your relationship with your family?
  20. What do you expect your relationship with the family of your spouse to be?
  21. What do you expect your spouses relationship with your family to be?
  22. Is there anyone in your family living with you now?
  23. Are you planning to have anyone in your family live with you in the future?
  24. If, for any reason, my relationship with your family turns sour, what should be done?
    FRIENDS
  25. Who are your friends? (Identify at least three.)
  26. How did you get to know them?
  27. Why are they your friends?
  28. What do you like most about them?
  29. What will your relationship with them after marriage be?
  30. Do you have friends of the opposite sex?
  31. What is the level of your relationship with them now?
  32. What will be the level of your relationship with them after marriage?
  33. What type of relationship do you want your spouse to have with your friends?
    PERSONAL HABITS
  34. What are the things that you do in your free time?
  35. Do you love to have guests in your home for entertainment?
  36. What are you expecting from your spouse when your friends come to the house?
  37. What is your opinion of speaking other languages in home that I do not understand? (with friends or family)
  38. Do you travel?
  39. How do you spend your vacations?
  40. How do you think your spouse should spend vacations?
  41. Do you read?
  42. What do you read?
  43. After marriage, do you think that you are one to express romantic feelings verbally?
  44. After marriage, do you think that you want to express affection in public?
  45. How do you express your admiration for someone that you know now?
  46. How do you express your feelings to someone who has done a favor for you?
  47. Do you like to write your feelings?
    CONFLICT RESOLUTION & COMMUNICATION
  48. If you wrong someone, how do you apologize?
  49. If someone has wronged you, how do you want (s)he to apologize to you?
  50. How much time passes before you can forgive someone?
  51. How do you make important and less important decisions in your life?
  52. Do you use foul language at home? In public? With family?
  53. Do your friends use foul language?
  54. Does your family use foul language?
  55. How do you express anger?
  56. How do you expect your spouse to express anger?
  57. What do you do when you are angry?
  58. When do you think it is appropriate to initiate mediation in marriage?
  59. When there is a dispute in your marriage, religious or otherwise, how should the conflict get resolved?
    HEALTH & WELLBEING
  60. Define mental, verbal, emotional and physical abuse.
  61. What would you do if you felt that you had been abused?
  62. Who would you call for assistance if you were being abused?
  63. Do you suffer from any chronic disease or condition?
  64. Are you willing to take a physical exam by a physician before marriage?
  65. What is your understanding of proper health and nutrition?
  66. How do you support your own health and nutrition?
    FINANCES
  67. What is you definition of wealth?
  68. How do you spend money?
  69. How do you save money?
  70. How do you think that your use of money will change after marriage?
  71. Do you have any debts now? If so, how are you making progress to eliminate them?
  72. Do you use credit cards?
  73. Do you support the idea of taking loans to buy a new home?
  74. What are you expecting from your spouse financially?
  75. What is your financial responsibility in the marriage?
  76. Do you support the idea of a working wife?
  77. If so, how do you think a dual-income family should manage funds?
  78. Do you currently use a budget to manage your finances?
  79. Who are the people to whom you are financially responsible?
  80. Do you support the idea of utilizing baby sitters and/or maids?
    CHILDREN
  81. Do you want to have children? If not, how come?
  82. To the best of your understanding, are you able to have children?
  83. Do you want to have children in the first two years of marriage? If not, when?
  84. Do you believe in abortion?
  85. Do you have children now?
  86. What is your relationship with your children now?
  87. What is your relationship with their other parent?
  88. What relationship do you expect your spouse to have with your children and their parent?
  89. What is the best method(s) of raising children?
  90. What is the best method(s) of disciplining children?
  91. How were you raised?
  92. How were you disciplined?
  93. Do you believe in spanking children? Under what circumstances?
  94. Do you believe in public school for your children?
  95. Do you believe in Islamic school for your children?
  96. Do you believe in home schooling for your children?
  97. What type of relationship should your children have with non-Muslim classmates/friends?
  98. Would you send your children to visit their extended family if they lived in another state or country?
  99. What type of relationship do you want your children to have with all their grandparents?
    RELATIVES
  100. If there are members of my family that are not Muslim, that are of different race or culture, what type of relationship do you want to have with them?

Pre Marital questions

Key Advice for the Newly Wed

Based on the advices of Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat
prepared by Brother Aslam Patel

“You have never seen anything better than marriage for those who love.” (Ibne Mãjah)

Shaykh Muhammad Saleem Dhorat dãmat barakãtuhum advises:
1. Every action is dependant upon intention. When marrying, both partners should therefore make a firm intention to accomplish the following objectives:

  • Following the Sunnah of our beloved Nabee Muhammad s.
  • Safeguarding oneself from sins.
  • Parenting pious children.

2. When marrying, each becomes the other’s lifetime companion. Each should understand and appreciate that Allah S has brought them both together and that their destiny in life has now become one. Whatever the circumstances: happiness or sorrow; health or sickness; wealth or poverty; comfort or hardship; trial or ease; all events are to be confronted together as a team with mutual affection and respect. No matter how wealthy, affluent, materially prosperous and “better-off” another couple may appear, one’s circumstances are to be happily accepted with qanã‘at (contentment upon the Choice of Allah S). The wife should happily accept her husband, his home and income as her lot and should always feel that her husband is her true beloved and best friend and well-wisher in all family decisions. The husband too should accept his wife as his partner-for-life and not cast a glance towards another.

3. Nowadays, the husband reads about, and is well-informed of his rights and demands them. Similarly, the wife reads of her rights and expects them. However, both should concentrate on being aware of each other’s rights and then strive to fulfil them. This is the prescription for a prosperous marriage and everlasting love.

4. During the first year of marriage, the couple must try and spend as much time as possible together. This is especially true for the first two months as it provides an opportunity to understand each other’s temperaments and establishes a firm foundation which contributes towards securing a prosperous marriage.

5. The couple (especially the husband) must make a point to arrive home early after ‘Ishã Salãh and scrupulously avoid the habit of socialising with friends late into the evening. Wherever possible, business, employment and other activities should be concluded beforehand or curtailed in order to set aside time for spending together.

6. Mutual respect between husband and wife should not be lost. They should each be very particular about following the Deen right from the initial stages of married life. This will also ensure a religious environment for the children to be nurtured in, contributing greatly towards their successful upbringing.

7. True and everlasting prosperity is only possible for Muslims when they follow the Sunnah of Rasoolullah s in all affairs. The couple too, should adhere to the teachings of Rasoolullah s in all their matters and abstain from anything which contradicts them. Careful attention should be given to this in their intimate relationship too. Inshã’allah this will be an assured approach to acquiring the blessing of pious offspring.

8. In the initial stages of marriage, the love between the couple is a physical bond, wherein emotional changes take place all the time. Despite great passion and physical love for each other, affection between the couple is not yet well established or on a rational basis. Such rational love comes after many years together. It is therefore extremely important for the husband not to succumb to emotional weaknesses at the onset and let the marriage waver towards an irreligious direction. Both the husband and wife should make a pledge to each other to steadfastly follow the Deen, especially in the performance of Salãh and in avoiding all sins.

9. Marriage is like the weather, forever changing. Sometimes it is cloudy and rainy, life appears gloomy, then the sun appears and rays of happiness break through bringing joy. At times, one experiences rain, wind and sunshine all in one day. Such is life, and like the seasons, we go through different experiences. The secret is to remain devoted and steadfast to one’s Deen and spouse.

10. The husband should be sympathetic to the fact that his wife has left her parents, brothers and sisters to start a new life with him. Her sacrifice and her feelings should be respected and joy should be felt by both partners at the expansion of their families.
Just as the wife should treat her husband’s parents as her own, he should also extend affection, courtesy and respect to his new in-laws.

11. As soon as one experiences a problem, no matter how trivial, which remains unresolved for more than three days, consult a person who is both knowledgeable and your sincere well-wisher.

Source: Islamic Da’wah Academy

Muslim Beliefs

The religion of a Muslim is called Islam. Muslim beliefs/ faith of the religion in a nutshell are given below.

  1. Muslim beliefs in Allah – the one and only almighty God, Lord and Creator. Him we trust and Him alone we fear.
  2. Muslims believe in the angels created by Allah. We know them even though they are not visible to us. They are the obedient servants of Allah and they carry out all His orders.
  3. Muslims believe that the words which Allah revealed to the prophets were written down in books. The last book, which was given to Muhammad (صلى الله عليه وسلم) is the Qur’an. The Quran is the only book from Allah which is complete and preserved in its original form.
  4. Muslims believe that Allah has sent His prophets to all mankind with the message to worship only Allah and to do good. Other Prophets Muslims believe in include Jacob (Yakub), Joseph (Yusuf), Jesus (Isa) and Moses (Musa) peace be upon them all.
  5. Muslims believe in the Day of Resurrection when Allah will wake us from our deaths. We will be rewarded for the good that we have done and those of us who did not believe in Allah and did evil, will be punished.
  6. Muslims believe that Allah has taught us to understand what good and evil is, so that we can ourselves decide for the good and against the evil. All good and evil is decreed by Allah.
  7. Muslims believe in Life after Death. The life after death is eternal and one will be rewarded with either Heaven or Hell depending on how the life of this earth was spent.

 As mentioned above these are Muslim beliefs in a nutshell and are the core of what each muslim believes.  However, there is much more to muslim beliefs than just the above and these are explored in more detail in other pages and articles of this site.

1 5 6 7