Tag Archives: Parents

Naming the child

By Mufti Taqi Usmani

It is the infant’s vested right to be honoured with a good name. When choosing a name for the child, it should be done with the intention that the child will be blessed with the barakah of that name. Here are some Ahadeeth to show the importance of selecting a good and correct name:

Ibne Umar (RA) relates Rasoolullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) as saying: “Truly, the most loved of your names by Allah are Abdullah and Abdur-Rahmaan.”

It is also reported in the Aboo Dawood that Rasoolullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said: “Keep the names of prophets. And the most desirable names by Allah Ta’ala are Abdullah and Abdur-Rahmaan. And names that depict honesty are Haarith (planter) and Hammaam (thoughtful). And the most disliked ones are Harb (battle) and Murrah (bitter).”

THE BARAKAH OF NAMING A CHILD AFTER THE BELOVED NAME OF RASOOLULLAH (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam)
Rasulullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) said: “Whoever is named after me with the hope of being blessed, he will be blessed and will be in peace till the day of Qiyaamat.”

He also said: “To whomever is born a boy and he names him Muhammad solely for the love of me and for the blessings of my name, then both he (the father) and his son will enter Jannah.”

THE IMPORTANCE OF KEEPING GOOD NAMES
HADITH: “On the Day of Qiyaamah you will be called by your (own) names and the names of your fathers. Therefore keep good names.” Aboo Dawood.

HADITH: “To whoever is born a child, the child should be given a good name and sound education. And when he becomes of age he should be married.”

It Was Rasoolullah’s (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) practice to enquire the names of persons and villages. If they were pleasant, it became apparent on his face. If not, his displeasure could be seen.

Once Rasoolullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) called for a volunteer to milk a camel. Four persons volunteered: he refused to accept the services of the first three because their names did not imply pleasantness. The names of the first two were Murrah (bitter) while Jamrah (burning coal) was the name of the third person. When the fourth said his name is Yaeesh (long life) Rasoolullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said to him: “Milk her.”

UNDESIRABLE NAMES SHOULD BE CHANGED
Aa’ishah (RA) reports that Rasool (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) used to change displeasing names replacing them with good names. Abdullah bin Umar (RA) relates that one of his sisters was named Aasiyah (disobedient). Rasoolullah (Sallallaahu Álayhi Wasallam) changed it to Jameelah (beautiful). Zainab (RA) says that she had been named Birrah (pious). Rasoolullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: “Do not claim piety for Allah knows best who amongst you are pious. Name her Zainab!”

NAMES MAY INFLUENCE THE LIVES OF PEOPLE
Sa’eed ibne Musayib (RA) relates from his father that his grandfather went to Rasoolullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) and was asked: “What is your name?” He replied: “Hazn” (sorrow). Rasoolullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) said: “You are Sahl” (contended). He replied: “I will not change the name my father had given me.” The narrator says that thereafter sorrow continually remained with them.

KEEP AWAY FROM NAMES IMPLYING SHIRK
As Muslims, we should always abstain from keeping names implying any elements of Shirk, like adjoining the word ‘Abd'(servant) to names or epithets other that those of Allah Ta’ala. Rasoolullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) also forbade keeping pompous and self-glorifying names, for this reveals arrogance and haughtiness – human elements most abhorred by Allah Ta’ala.

BE PROUD OF YOUR IDENTITY AND FAITH
Muslims should always be proud of their identity and faith. Nowadays, to conceal his identity, it is common practice for a person to ‘westernize’ his name, like substituting Yoosuf with Joe or Joseph, Sulaimaan with Solly or Sully, Faatimah with Fatli, Sumay-yah with Summi, etc. Efforts to distort such beautiful names merely reveal an un-Islamic and sacreligious attitude. Remember, there exists behind each Islamic name an Islamic spirit and meaning, which, when distorted, is ruined. For example, there is intended love for the Prophet of Islam, and barakah when naming a child Muhammad. But when Muhammad is called Mahmad or Gammat, this spirit of love for Rasoolullah (Sallallaahu Alayhi Wasallam) and the acquiring of barakah by such a name is shattered. Should we not then refrain from such sacreligious practices?

May Allah Ta’ala guide us so that we may realize the beauty and uniqueness of the religion of Islam propounded by no other than the one who is the best of Allah’s creations-May Allah shower His choicest blessings upon him.

May Allah Ta’ala guide us on the Right Path.

May He also grant this humble effort of mine to be a fulfilment of a long-felt need amongst the Muslims-especially the English-speaking Muslims. Ameen.

https://www.beautifulislam.net/

Reprimanding Children

“Nowadays parents refrain from reprimanding their children as they deem them to be very little. However, if a child does an action which is considered bad from a deeni and worldly perspective, it is then Fardh upon the parents to reprimand such a child.

This is because there is a high possibility, the child will grow older and inculcate this bad behaviour into their lives. The sin for this bad habit will then fall upon the parents.”

Mufti Taqi Usmani

Help Me Respect You Mum

I adore you mum! So please help me fulfil your rights by fulfilling mine. Respecting my wife makes it much easier for us to respect you.

I love you my wife! So help me fulfil your rights by fulfilling mine. Respecting my mother makes it much easier for me to respect you.

Happily ever after.
Mufti Ismail Menk

Manners for Young Children

1. Teach children to use the right hand for eating, drinking, giving and taking. To eat and drink while sitting, and to stay, ‘Bismillah’ before eating and, ‘Alhamdulillah’ after finishing.

2. Teach children hygienic etiquette, to clip fingernails and toe nails, and to wash hands before and after eating.

3. Teach them how to clean themselves after using the toilet and how to keep urine off their clothes.

4. Correct their mistakes kindly and privately without scolding them.

5. Instruct them to listen to the Adhaan quietely and repeat the words of Adhaan after the Muadhin, then to ask Allah to exalt the mention of the Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] and supplicate the following,

‘O Allah, the Rabb (Lord) of this complete invitation, and the ready prayer, grant Muhammad the means and the virtue, and raise him to a praised rank which You have promised him.’

6. Assign each of them a separate bed, if possible, otherwise a separate cover. It is most preferable to have a room for girls and another for boys.

7. Instruct them to remove harmful objects off the road and not to throw litter on it.

8. Warn against bad company and against loitering.

9. Greet children with Assalaamu alaykum at home, in school, and in public.

10. Instruct children to be kind to neighbours and to be helpful to them, and avoid bothering or disturbing them.

11. Instruct them to be courteous to guests and to treat them with generosity.

The rule of Music and Singing

It is the duty of the educators to warn children against listening to music and singing. Allah states, ‘And of men who take idle talk to lead men away from the path of Allah without knowledge, and make fun of it. For such there will be humiliating punishment.’ (31:6)

Most scholars are agreed that idle talk is nothing but singing. Ibn Mas’ood [radhiallaahu anhu] said the same. Allah also addressed Satan saying, ‘And excite whoever you can with your sound.’ (17:64)

The Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘There will be from my Ummah those who will deem as lawful; fonircation, silk (for Muslim males), liquor and music.’

The great scholar Mujahid and others said, ‘The sound of Satan is music and singing.’

Singing of Today

Most, if not all, of the singing today talks about love, voluptuous desires, kissing and details of a woman’s body and other sexual connotations, things that excite the youth and incite them to establish illicit relations.

The best way to combat the habit of listening to music is reading the Qur’aan and the rememberance of Allah, and reading the Seerah or the biography of the Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam].

Obedience to Parents

If you want to attain success in both worlds, then you should apply the following advice:

1. Speak politely to your parents and humble yourself before them and be kind to them, and never scold them nor express a word of disgust to them.

2. Obey your parents as long as no disobedience to Allah is involved.

3. Never frown at them, nor give them an angry look.

4. Honour them and guard their reputation and their property. Never take anything from them without permission.

5. Do what pleases them, and help them out even without their asking for your help.

6. Consult them in your own affairs, and apologise to them if you fail to do so.

7. Respond to them quickly and with a smile and when they call you.

8. Treat with courtesy your parents’ friends and relatives during their life and life after their death.

9. Never argue with them, nor blame them and if they err, show them politely their error.

10. Never speak to them with loud voice, and listen politely to them.

11. Help around the house, and offer help to your father at his work.

12. Do not travel without their permission, and if you do, keep in touch with them.

13. Never enter their bedroom before knocking and receiving permission to enter.

14. Never offend them by any bad habit that you may have.

15. Never start eating before they do.

16. Never give your wife or children priority over them. Seek their pleasure, for doing so secures the pleasure of Allah.

17. Do not sit on a place higher than theirs.

18. If you maintain them, never be niggardly towards them. The way you treat them, your children will treat you.

19. The most deserving of your kindness is your mother, then your father, and know that Jannah lies under the feet of mothers.

20. Never be disobedient to your parents, for this is the case of misery in both worlds.

21. Ask your parents to supplicate in your favour, because Allah responds to their Du’aa for you or against you.

22. Supplicate frequently for them, and ask Allah’s forgiveness for them.

23. Never cause anyone to curse them. The Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] explained this by saying, ‘When a man curses another, the other would curse the man’s father. So beware of this horrible sin.’

24. Remember whatever good deeds you do or accomplish, your parents will benefit from it after their death. And remember too that the Prophet [sallallaahu alayhi wasallam] said, ‘You and your property belong to your father’.

Guidelines for Raising Children
Abdul Rahman Abdullah Manderolla

[Source: Madrasa In’aamiyyah]

Naming Children

Parents are responsible to give their children the best names possible.

When naming our children we should ensure a beautiful meaning rather than an exotic sounding name void of meaning.Some parents ignorantly choose names that have a bad meaning just because it sounds good. The child grows up being called a bad name.

It is wise to choose a name that will be pronounced with ease by the community the child will grow up in. This will avoid distortions or changes in meaning due to being mispronounced.

Mufti Ismail Menk

Standing by Mothers Bedside

A long time ago there lived a great saint. His name was Sharafud-Din and he loved his mother very much. Once, when Sharafud-Din was still small, his mother fell very ill and had to stay in bed. One night she awoke with a burning thirst and called out to her son to bring her a bowl of water.

The young boy hurried to her bedside, but when he returned to her bedside with the water, he discovered that she had fallen asleep again. Sharafud-Din was not sure what to do. Should he wake her up or wait until she awoke, or leave the water by her bedside and go back to bed himself? He decided to wait until she awoke. Minutes passed…hours passed…the night passed…and still the small boy waited patiently with the water at his mother’s side. Finally his mother awoke a little after the first light of dawn had paled the sky, and to her surprise there was her beloved son at her side.

“How long have you been standing here?” she asked. “You haven’t been there all night have you?”

‘Yes, mother,” he replied, “I have been here since you asked me to bring you some water.”

His mother was deeply touched by his devotion, and asked Allah to pour His blessings on her son. One day he grew up to be a great saint!

Source: Madrassah Baytul Ilm

Halal Diet and Pregnancy

We are what we eat. Today we complain our children are disobedient towards us, but why the surprise? If we feed our children haram (even while in the womb) then the thoughts that will be bred in their minds (later in life) will be haram. Understand well, halal foods breed halal thoughts and halal actions whilst haram food breeds haram thoughts and haram actions.

Shaykh Ashraf Ali Thanwi narrates, ‘If before birth of the child, parents were to reform themselves and adopt piety, then there is no reason why the child born too should not be pious. The actions of parents during pregnancy have a profound effect on the unborn child. Accordingly, the son of a saint was quite mischievous. Somebody queried the saint; ‘It is indeed strange; you are so pious yet your son so naughty?’ The saint replied, ‘ One evening I was invited to meals by a rich person (whose income was doubtful). After eating, my nafs became excited and I made love to my wife who became pregnant. This child is the effect of the doubtful food.’

Therefore, during pregnancy (especially) it is of the utmost importance to eat a varied halal diet brought from halal income. If in doubt regarding ingredients, leave it out.
Source: Ashrafs Blessings of Marriage published by Ashrafs Amanat

Paid in Full

A little boy came up to his mother in the kitchen one evening while she was fixing supper, and he handed her a piece of paper that he had been writing on. After his mom dried her hands on an apron, she read it, and this is what it said:

For cutting the grass: $5.00
For cleaning up my room this week: $1.00
For going to the store for you: $0.50
Babysitting my kid brother while you went shopping: $0.25
Taking out the garbage: $1.00
For getting a good report card: $5.00
For cleaning up and raking the yard: $2.00
Total owed: $14.75

Well, his mother looked at him standing there, the boy could see the memories flashing through her mind. She picked up the pen, turned over the paper he’d written on, and this is what she wrote:

For 9 months I carried you while you were growing inside me: No Charge.
For all the nights that I’ve sat up with you, doctored and prayed for you: No Charge.
For all the trying times, and all the tears that you’ve caused through the years: No Charge.
For all the nights that were filled with dread, and for the worries I knew were ahead: No Charge.
For the toys, food, clothes, and even wiping your nose: No Charge,
Son. When you add it up, the cost of my love is: No Charge.
When the boy finished reading what his mother had written, there were big tears in his eyes, and he looked straight at his mother and said,

“Mom, I sure do love you”.

And then he took the pen and in great big letters he wrote: “PAID IN FULL”

Moral:  Don’t be too consumed in yourself and what you are doing to ignore the good others do for you and the countless blessings that Almighty Allah has already granted you.